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 Ambrose Bierce Quotes
108 Famous Quotes by Ambrose Bierce
6/24/1842 - (Present)
Also Known As:  
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce     Bitter Bierce
Professions:  
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About Ambrose Bierce

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

Dawn Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.

Optimism Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.

Hospitality Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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SELFISH, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

Selfishness Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though Horizontalists hold that the posture of the body was immaterial.

Zenith Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. The hippogriff was, therefore, only one quarter eagle, which is $2.50 in gold. Zoology is full of surprises.

Zoology Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

Anger Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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There are 4 kinds of Homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and praiseworthy.

Murder Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Hypocrisy: prejudice with a halo

Hypocrisy Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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LONGEVITY, n. Uncommon extension of the fear of death.

Longevity Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.

Diplomacy Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.

Queen Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.

Compromise Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary, patriotism is defined as the last refuge of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer, I beg to submit that it is the first.

Patriotism Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Acquaintance is a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor and obscure, and intimate when he is rich and famous.

Acquaintance Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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A bride is a woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Brides Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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ARSENIC, n. A kind of cosmetic greatly affected by the ladies, whom it greatly affects in turn."Eat arsenic? Yes, all you get," Consenting, he did speak up;"'Tis better you should eat it, pet, Than put it in my teacup." --Joel Huck

Cosmetics Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Electricity is the power that causes all natural phenomena not known to be caused by something else.

Electricity Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Electricity seems destined to play a most important part in the arts and industries. The question of its economical application to some purposes is still unsettled, but experiment has already proved that it will propel a street car better than a gas

Electricity Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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FINANCE, n. The art or science of managing revenues and resources for the best advantage of the manager. The pronunciation of this word with the i long and the accent on the first syllable is one of America's most precious discoveries and possessions.

Finance Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Income is the natural and rational gauge and measure of respectability.

Income Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Infidel: In New York, one who does not believe in the Christian religion; in Constantinople, one who does

Infidelity Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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OBSESSED, p.p. Vexed by an evil spirit, like the Gadarene swine and other critics. Obsession was once more common than it is now. Arasthus tells of a peasant who was occupied by a different devil for every day in the week, and on Sundays by two. They were frequently seen, always walking in his shadow, when he had one, but were finally driven away by the village notary, a holy man; but they took the peasant with them, for he vanished utterly. A devil thrown out of a woman by the Archbishop of Rheims ran through the trees, pursued by a hundred persons, until the open country was reached, where by a leap higher than a church spire he escaped into a bird. A chaplain in Cromwell's army exorcised a soldier's obsessing devil by throwing the soldier into the water, when the devil came to the surface. The soldier, unfortunately, did not.

Obsessions Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.

Saints Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Self-denial is indulgence of a propensity to forego

Self-denial Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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