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 Ambrose Bierce Quotes
108 Famous Quotes by Ambrose Bierce
6/24/1842 - (Present)
Also Known As:  
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce     Bitter Bierce
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About Ambrose Bierce

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.

Sleep Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Tenacity is a certain quality of the human hand in its relation to the coin of the realm. It attains its highest development in the hand of authority and is considered a serviceable equipment for a career in politics.

Tenacity Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Tariff: a scale of taxes on imports, designed to protect the domestic producer against the greed of his consumer

Trade Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

Education Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

Misfortune Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. If we must have them, let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to MH.

Names Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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A pessimist asked God for relief. "Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness," said God. "No," replied the petitioner, "I wish you to create something that would justify them." "The world is all created," said God, "but you have overlooked something - the mortality of the optimist.

Pessimism Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.

Alliance Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.

Babies Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.

Calamity Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.

Debt Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacity.

Eccentricity Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.

Errors Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.

Fidelity Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.

Gambling Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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BOUNDARY, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other.

Geography Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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PRELATE, n. A church officer having a superior degree of holiness and a fat preferment. One of Heaven's aristocracy. A gentleman of God.

Holiness Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.

Intimacy Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.

Knave Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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MISERICORDE, n. A dagger which in mediaeval warfare was used by the foot soldier to remind an unhorsed knight that he was mortal.

Knight Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society . . .

Land Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Patience, n. -- A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.

Patience Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.

Quotes Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.

Recreation Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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REPENTANCE, n. The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.

Repentance Quotes, by Ambrose Bierce

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