| 108 Famous Quotes by Ambrose Bierce
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“HATCHET, n. A young axe, known among Indians as a Thomashawk."O bury the hatchet, irascible Red, For peace is a blessing," the White Man said. The Savage concurred, and that weapon interred, With imposing rites, in the White Man's head. --John Lukkus”
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“RASCALITY, n. Stupidity militant. The activity of a clouded intellect.”
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“KISS, n. A word invented by the poets as a rhyme for ""bliss."" It is supposed to signify, in a general way, some kind of rite or ceremony appertaining to a good understanding; but the manner of its performance is unknown to this lexicographer.”
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“DEBT, n. An ingenious substitute for the chain and whip of the slave- driver.As, pent in an aquarium, the troutlet Swims round and round his tank to find an outlet, Pressing his nose against the glass that holds him, Nor ever sees the prison that enfolds him; So the poor debtor, seeing naught around him, Yet feels the narrow limits that impound him, Grieves at his debt and studies to evade it, And finds at last he might as well have paid it. --Barlow S. Vode”
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“MILLENNIUM, n. The period of a thousand years when the lid is to be screwed down, with all reformers on the under side.”
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“What is a democrat? One who believes that the republicans have ruined the country. What is a republican? One who believes that the democrats would ruin the country.”
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“ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit in which the statesman wrestles with his record.”
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“DOG, n. A kind of additional or subsidiary Deity designed to catch the overflow and surplus of the world's worship. This Divine Being in some of his smaller and silkier incarnations takes, in the affection of Woman, the place to which there is no human male aspirant. The Dog is a survival --an anachronism. He toils not, neither does he spin, yet Solomon in all his glory never lay upon a door-mat all day long, sun-soaked and fly-fed and fat, while his master worked for the means wherewith to purchase the idle wag of the Solomonic tail, seasoned with a look of tolerant recognition.”
Miscellaneous Quotes |
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Ambrose Bierce Quotes, Quotations, and Sayings
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