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Advice: the smallest current coin.
Topic: Advice / Experience / Wisdom
Source: None
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Age--that period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still cherish by reviling those that we no longer have the enterprise to commit.
Topic: Age
Source: None
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ALLIANCE, n. In international politics, the union of two thieves who have their hands so deeply inserted in each other's pockets that they cannot separately plunder a third.
Topic: Alliance
Source: None
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Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
Topic: Anger
Source: None
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Painting, n.: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather, and exposing them to the critic.
Topic: Art and Artists
Source: None
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Birth: The first and direst of all disasters.
Topic: Babies
Source: None
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The fact that boys are allowed to exist at all is evidence of a remarkable Christian forbearance among men.
Topic: Boys
Source: None
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The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
Topic: Business
Source: None
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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Topic: Calamity
Source: None
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Calamities are of two kinds. Misfortune to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Topic: Calamity
Source: None
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To be positive: to be mistaken at the top of one's voice.
Topic: Certainty
Source: None
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Christian: one who believes that the New Testament is a divinely inspired book admirably suited to the spiritual needs of his neighbors.
Topic: Christianity
Source: None
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Compromise. Such an adjustment of conflicting interests as gives each adversary the satisfaction of thinking he has got what he ought not to have, and is deprived of nothing except what was justly his due.
Topic: Compromise
Source: None
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Telephone, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.
Topic: Computer / Technology / Science
Source: None
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One who is in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
Topic: Cowardice
Source: None
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A cynic is a blackguard whose faulty vision sees things as they are, and not as they ought to be.
Topic: Cynic
Source: None
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Forgetfulness. A gift of God bestowed upon debtors in compensation for their destitution of conscience.
Topic: Debt
Source: None
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Destiny. A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
Topic: Destiny
Source: None
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DIPLOMACY, n. Lying in state, or the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
Topic: Diplomacy
Source: None
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International arbitration may be defined as the substitution of many burning questions for a smouldering one.
Topic: Diplomacy
Source: None
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... the patriotic art of lying for one's country.
Topic: Diplomacy
Source: None
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ECCENTRICITY, n. A method of distinction so cheap that fools employ it to accentuate their incapacity.
Topic: Eccentricity
Source: None
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Education is that which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
Topic: Education
Source: None
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Education, n.: That which discloses the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.
Topic: Education
Source: None
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When you are ill make haste to forgive your enemies, for you may recover.
Topic: Enemy
Source: None
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Experience is a revelation in the light of which we renounce our errors of youth for those of age.
Topic: Errors
Source: None
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FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.
Topic: Fidelity
Source: None
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Acquaintance: a degree of friendship called slight when its object is poor or obscure, and intimate when he is rich or famous.
Topic: Friendship
Source: None
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The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
Topic: Gambling
Source: None
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BOUNDARY, n. In political geography, an imaginary line between two nations, separating the imaginary rights of one from the imaginary rights of the other.
Topic: Geography
Source: None
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History: An account, mostly false, of events unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.
Topic: History
Source: None
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Mythology: the body of a primitive people's beliefs, concerning its origin, early history, heroes, deitits and so forth, as distinguished from the true accounts which it invents later.
Topic: History
Source: None
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PRELATE, n. A church officer having a superior degree of holiness and a fat preferment. One of Heaven's aristocracy. A gentleman of God.
Topic: Holiness
Source: None
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HOSPITALITY, n. The virtue which induces us to feed and lodge certain persons who are not in need of food and lodging.
Topic: Hospitality
Source: None
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Mad, adj.: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.
Topic: Intelligence
Source: None
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INTIMACY, n. A relation into which fools are providentially drawn for their mutual destruction.
Topic: Intimacy
Source: None
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HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.
Topic: Knave
Source: None
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MISERICORDE, n. A dagger which in mediaeval warfare was used by the foot soldier to remind an unhorsed knight that he was mortal.
Topic: Knight
Source: None
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LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foundation of modern society . . .
Topic: Land
Source: None
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For every man there is something in the vocabulary that would stick to him like a second skin. His enemies have only to find it.
Topic: Language
Source: None
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Litigant: a person about to give up his skin for the hope of retaining his bone.
Topic: Law
Source: None
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Overwork: n., a dangerous disorder affecting high public functionaries who want to go fishing.
Topic: Leisure
Source: None
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Liberty:one of imaginations most precious possessions.
Topic: Liberty
Source: None
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Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage.
Topic: Marriage
Source: None
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Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
Topic: Misfortune
Source: None
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Miss: A title with which we brand unmarried women to indicate that they are in the market. Miss, Misses (Mrs.) and Mister (Mr.) are the three most distinctly disagreeable words in the language, in sound and sense. Two are corruptions of Mistress, the other of Master. If we must have them, let us be consistent and give one to the unmarried man. I venture to suggest Mush, abbreviated to MH.
Topic: Names
Source: None
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Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.
Topic: Nature
Source: None
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Optimism. The doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly.
Topic: Optimism
Source: None
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Optimist: a proponent of the doctrine that black is white.
Topic: Optimism
Source: None
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Patience, n. -- A minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
Topic: Patience
Source: None
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