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Patience is a minor form of despair, disguised as a virtue.
Topic: Patience
Source: None
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In Dr. Johnson's famous dictionary, patriotism is defined as the last refuge of a scoundrel. With all due respect to an enlightened but inferior lexicographer, I beg to submit that it is the first.
Topic: Patriotism
Source: None
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Peace, in international affairs, is a period of cheating between two periods of fighting.
Topic: Peace
Source: None
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A pessimist asked God for relief. "Ah, you wish me to restore your hope and cheerfulness," said God. "No," replied the petitioner, "I wish you to create something that would justify them." "The world is all created," said God, "but you have overlooked something - the mortality of the optimist.
Topic: Pessimism
Source: None
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Politics is the conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
Topic: Politics / Government
Source: None
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Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
Topic: Politics / Government
Source: None
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A prejudice is a vagrant opinion without visible means of support.
Topic: Prejudice
Source: None
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The hardest tumble a man can make is to fall over his own bluff.
Topic: Pretension
Source: None
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QUEEN, n. A woman by whom the realm is ruled when there is a king, and through whom it is ruled when there is not.
Topic: Queen
Source: None
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Quoting: the act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
Topic: Quotes
Source: None
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RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.
Topic: Recreation
Source: None
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REPENTANCE, n. The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.
Topic: Repentance
Source: None
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Revolution: in politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.
Topic: Revolution
Source: None
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SELFISH, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
Topic: Selfishness
Source: None
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Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.
Topic: Sports
Source: None
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Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.
Topic: Success
Source: None
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Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.
Topic: Tact
Source: None
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Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
Topic: Time
Source: None
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FUNERAL, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.
Topic: Undertakers
Source: None
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VALOR, n. A soldierly compound of vanity, duty and the gambler's hope.
Topic: Valor
Source: None
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... the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.
Topic: Vote
Source: None
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OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.
Topic: Water
Source: None
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Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
Topic: Weddings
Source: None
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Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.
Topic: Women
Source: None
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WRATH, n. Anger of a superior quality and degree, appropriate to exalted characters and momentous occasions; as, "the wrath of God," "the day of wrath," etc. . . .
Topic: Wrath
Source: None
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YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown. (See DAMYANK.)
Topic: Yankee
Source: None
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ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth before a sprawl.
Topic: Zeal
Source: None
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ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though Horizontalists hold that the posture of the body was immaterial.
Topic: Zenith
Source: None
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ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly ("Musca maledicta"). The father of Zoology was Aristotle, as is universally conceded, but the name of its mother has not come down to us.
Topic: Zoology
Source: None
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HIPPOGRIFF, n. An animal (now extinct) which was half horse and half griffin. The griffin was a compound creature, half lion and half eagle. The hippogriff was, therefore, only one quarter eagle, which is $2.50 in gold. Zoology is full of surprises.
Topic: Zoology
Source: None
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