World Of Quotes

Quotes, Sayings, and Proverbs
 Dave Barry Quotes
69 Famous Quotes by Dave Barry
7/3/1947 - (Present)
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About Dave Barry

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it

America and americans Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
2 votes

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages

America and americans Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it

Nations Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.

America and americans Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.

Arguments Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Camping Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
2 votes

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

Humor Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
2 votes

Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks

Internet Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

Meetings are an addictive, highly self-indulgent activity that corporations and other large organizations habitually engage in only because they cannot masturbate

Meetings Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
2 votes

New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace like Segal.3. Driver hates you.

New york Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

People Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

Politicians Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Problems Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

Religion Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)

Scientists Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

Violence and smut are of course everywhere on the airwaves. You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.

Violence Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Future, and some day, when my generation retires, they will have to pay us trillions of dollars in social security

Youth Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
2 votes

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base.

Sports:baseball Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
3 votes

If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.

Men and women Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.

Society Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

African american Quotes, by Dave Barry

4 out of 5 stars
2 votes

The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

Camping Quotes, by Dave Barry

4 out of 5 stars
1 votes

Fishing is boring, unless you catch an actual fish, and then it is disgusting.

Fishing Quotes, by Dave Barry

4 out of 5 stars
1 votes

You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, `My God, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!'

Pets Quotes, by Dave Barry

4 out of 5 stars
2 votes

Thus the metric system did not really catch on in the States, unless you count the increasing popularity of the nine-millimeter bullet.

Popularity Quotes, by Dave Barry

4 out of 5 stars
4 votes