World Of Quotes

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 Dave Barry Quotes
69 Famous Quotes by Dave Barry
7/3/1947 - (Present)
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About Dave Barry

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it

America and americans Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
2 votes

We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it

Nations Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

American consumers have no problem with carcinogens, but they will not purchase any product, including floor wax, that has fat in it.

America and americans Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business.

Camping Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night

Humor Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

New York Taxi Rules:1. Driver speaks no English.2. Driver just got here two days ago from someplace like Segal.3. Driver hates you.

New york Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base.

Sports:baseball Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
2 votes

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.

Society Quotes, by Dave Barry

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

I care about our young people, and I wish them great success, because they are our Hope for the Future, and some day, when my generation retires, they will have to pay us trillions of dollars in social security

Youth Quotes, by Dave Barry

4 out of 5 stars
1 votes

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

Youth Quotes, by Dave Barry

3 out of 5 stars
2 votes

Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear

Dogs Quotes, by Dave Barry

3 out of 5 stars
1 votes

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages

Language Quotes, by Dave Barry

3 out of 5 stars
4 votes

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs.

African american Quotes, by Dave Barry

2 out of 5 stars
1 votes

If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows.

Global warming Quotes, by Dave Barry

1 out of 5 stars
1 votes

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings

Humanity Quotes, by Dave Barry

1 out of 5 stars
1 votes

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages

America and americans Quotes, by Dave Barry

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.

Arguments Quotes, by Dave Barry

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The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withstand tremendous boredom

Boredom Quotes, by Dave Barry

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The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

Camping Quotes, by Dave Barry

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My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.

Chess Quotes, by Dave Barry

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Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages

Comedy Quotes, by Dave Barry

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It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mercedes. Ask about the competence of his mechanic. Don't be shy! After all, you're paying for it.

Competence Quotes, by Dave Barry

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A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer

Computers Quotes, by Dave Barry

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The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery.

Democracy Quotes, by Dave Barry

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We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.

Electricity Quotes, by Dave Barry

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes