World Of Quotes

Quotes, Sayings, and Proverbs
 Dave Barry Quotes
69 Famous Quotes by Dave Barry
7/3/1947 - (Present)
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About Dave Barry

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages

Language Quotes, by Dave Barry

3 out of 5 stars
4 votes

If you asked me to name the three scariest threats facing the human race, I would give the same answer that most people would: nuclear war, global warming and Windows.

Global warming Quotes, by Dave Barry

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1 votes

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings

Humanity Quotes, by Dave Barry

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The word aerobics comes from two Greek words: aero, meaning "ability to," and bics, meaning "withstand tremendous boredom

Boredom Quotes, by Dave Barry

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The ultimate camping trip was the Lewis and Clark expedition.

Camping Quotes, by Dave Barry

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My problem with chess was that all my pieces wanted to end the game as soon as possible.

Chess Quotes, by Dave Barry

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Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages

Comedy Quotes, by Dave Barry

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It is a good idea to "shop around" before you settle on a doctor. Ask about the condition of his Mercedes. Ask about the competence of his mechanic. Don't be shy! After all, you're paying for it.

Competence Quotes, by Dave Barry

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A thunderstorm is God's way of saying you spend too much time in front of the computer

Computers Quotes, by Dave Barry

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We believe that electricity exists, because the electric company keeps sending us bills for it, but we cannot figure out how it travels inside wires.

Electricity Quotes, by Dave Barry

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Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.

Electricity Quotes, by Dave Barry

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Sharks are as tough as those football fans who take their shirts off during games in Chicago in January, only more intelligent.

Football Quotes, by Dave Barry

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The primary function of the government is - and here I am quoting directly from the U.S. Constitution - "to spew out paper."

Government Quotes, by Dave Barry

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Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.

Holidays Quotes, by Dave Barry

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While you are destroying your mind watching the worthless, brain-rotting drivel on TV, we on the Internet are exchanging, freely and openly, the most uninhibited, intimate and, yes, shocking details about our "CONFIG.SYS" settings.

Internet Quotes, by Dave Barry

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The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

Internet Quotes, by Dave Barry

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What, exactly, is the internet? Basically it is a global network exchanging digitized data in such a way that any computer, anywhere, that is equipped with a device called a 'modem', can make a noise like a duck choking on a kazoo

Internet Quotes, by Dave Barry

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Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

Inventions Quotes, by Dave Barry

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We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.

Journalism Quotes, by Dave Barry

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People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

People Quotes, by Dave Barry

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Politicians are like diapers. They both need changing regularly and for the same reason.

Politicians Quotes, by Dave Barry

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A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn

Pornography Quotes, by Dave Barry

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The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Problems Quotes, by Dave Barry

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The question is, why are politicians so eager to be president? What is it about the job that makes it worth revealing, on national television, that you have the ethical standards of a slime-coated piece of industrial waste?

Questioning Quotes, by Dave Barry

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The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Religion Quotes, by Dave Barry

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