World Of Quotes

Quotes, Sayings, and Proverbs
 Dave Barry Quotes
69 Famous Quotes by Dave Barry
7/3/1947 - (Present)
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About Dave Barry

The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Religion Quotes, by Dave Barry

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Gravity is a contributing factor in nearly 73 percent of all accidents involving falling objects.

Science Quotes, by Dave Barry

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It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate.

Science Quotes, by Dave Barry

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Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.

Scientists Quotes, by Dave Barry

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We journalists... are also extremely impressed with scientists, and we will, frankly, print just about any wacky thing they tell us, especially if it involves outer space.

Scientists Quotes, by Dave Barry

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I now realize that the small hills you see on ski slopes are formed around the bodies of forty-seven-year-olds who tried to learn snowboarding.

Ski Quotes, by Dave Barry

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Software is usually accompanied by documentation in the form of big fat scary manuals that nobody ever reads. In fact, for the past five years most of the manuals shipped with software products have actually been copies of Stephen King's The Stand with new covers pasted on.

Software Quotes, by Dave Barry

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One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet

Technology Quotes, by Dave Barry

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The problem with writing about religion is that you run the risk of offending sincerely religious people, and then they come after you with machetes.

Writing Quotes, by Dave Barry

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Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear.

Dogs Quotes, by Dave Barry

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We Americans live in a nation where the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it.

Government Quotes, by Dave Barry

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Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.

Karate Quotes, by Dave Barry

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If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.

Women Quotes, by Dave Barry

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I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.

Cliches and one-liners Quotes, by Dave Barry

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People in the computer industry use the term 'user,' which to them means 'idiot.'.

Computer / technology / science Quotes, by Dave Barry

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It's impossible to experience one's death objectively and still carry a tune.

Death / immortality Quotes, by Dave Barry

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I argue very well. Ask any of my remaining friends. I can win an argument on any topic, against any opponent. People know this, and steer clear of me at parties. Often, as a sign of their great respect, they don't even invite me.

Decisions Quotes, by Dave Barry

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What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. What Men Want: Tickets for the world series.

Men and women Quotes, by Dave Barry

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Eternal boyhood is the dream of a depressing percentage of American males, and the locker room is the temple where they worship arrested development.

Men and women Quotes, by Dave Barry

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