Emo Philips Quotes, Quotations, and Sayings

5 Famous Quotes by Emo Philips
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“I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, 'Get off me, you two!'”
Adultery Quotes
“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”
Forgiveness Quotes
“Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil.”
Murder Quotes
“New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guys are very rude. I said, "I'd like a card." He says, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York." So I stabbed him.”
New york Quotes
“When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.”
Christianity Quotes