Erma Bombeck Quotes, Quotations, and Sayings

20 Famous Quotes by Erma Bombeck
[1-20] 
“Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg.”
Action Quotes
“No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.”
Bed Quotes
“One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is.”
Children Quotes
“I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.”
Cosmetics Quotes
“Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed.”
Cute Quotes
“I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food”
Food Quotes
“My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance”
Housework Quotes
“It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.”
Motherhood Quotes
“No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.”
Order Quotes
“Skiing: I do not participate in any sport with ambulances at the bottom of the hill”
Ski Quotes
“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.”
Talent Quotes
“By the age of six the average child will have completed the basic American education.... From television, the child will have learned how to pick a lock, commit a fairly elaborate bank holdup, prevent wetness all day long, get the laundry twice as white, and kill people with a variety of sophisticated armaments.”
Television Quotes
“Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer.”
Vacation Quotes
“Great dreams... never even get out of the box. It takes an uncommon amount of guts to put your dreams on the line, to hold them up and say, 'How good or how bad am I?' That's where courage comes in.”
Courage Quotes
“It is not until you become a mother that your judgment slowly turns to compassion and understanding.”
Compassion Quotes
“It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of supersophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.”
Communication Quotes
“Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.”
Games Quotes
“Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving.”
Guilt Quotes
“It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else.”
Dreams Quotes
“It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. -Erma Bombeck.”
Dreams Quotes