I'm leaving because the weather is too good. I hate London when it's not raining.

Cities Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open

Husbands Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

Literary Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it, misdiagnosing it, and then misapplying the wrong remedies.

Politics Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

Age Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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No man goes before his time / unless the boss leaves early.

Bosses Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

Judgement Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

Military Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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Practically everybody in New York has half a mind to write a book -and does

New york Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Principles Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Television Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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Women should be obscene and not heard.

Truth Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough

Wives Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.

Society Quotes, by Groucho Marx , Source: Groucho and Me (ch. 26)

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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.

Television Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.

Media and entertainment Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Music Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Justice Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.

Laughter Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

Military Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Principles Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.

Unhappiness Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.

Age Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Books Quotes, by Groucho Marx

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