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Age is not a particularly interesting subject. Anyone can get old. All you have to do is live long enough.
Topic: Age
Source: None
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Outside of a dog, a man's best friend is a book. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
Topic: Books
Source: None
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My mother loved children--she would have given anything if I had been one.
Topic: Children / Youth
Source: None
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A clown is like aspirin, only he works twice as fast.
Topic: Clowns
Source: None
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Either this man is dead
or my watch has stopped.
Topic: Death / Immortality
Source: None
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If you've heard this story before, don't stop me, because I'd like to hear it again.
Topic: Jokes
Source: None
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Topic: Justice
Source: None
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From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Topic: Laughter
Source: None
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The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while. -Groucho Marx.
Topic: Life
Source: None
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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Topic: Literary
Source: None
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We in the industry know that behind every successful screenwriter stands a woman. And behind her stands his wife.
Topic: Media and Entertainment
Source: None
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Topic: Military
Source: None
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Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Topic: Music
Source: None
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Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.
Topic: Principles
Source: None
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Please accept my resignation. I don't care to belong to any club that will have me as a member.
Topic: Resignation
Source: None
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Please accept my resignation. I don't want to belong to any club
that will accept me as a member.
Topic: Society
Source: Groucho and Me (ch. 26)
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I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.
Topic: Television
Source: None
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No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend.
Topic: Unhappiness
Source: None
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Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough.
Topic: Wives
Source: None
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