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The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom.
Topic: Age
Source: None
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I never agree with Communists or any other kind of kept men.
Topic: Communism
Source: None
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Conscience is the inner voice which warns us that someone may be looking.
Topic: Conscience
Source: None
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Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
Topic: Conscience
Source: None
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The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
Topic: Court
Source: None
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A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.
Topic: Cynic
Source: None
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Don't overestimate the decency of the human race.
Topic: Decency
Source: None
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Democracy is only a dream: it should be put in the same category as Arcadia, Santa Claus, and Heaven.
Topic: Democracy
Source: None
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The difference between a moral man and a man of honor is that the latter regrets a discreditable act even when it has worked.
Topic: Difference
Source: None
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On one issue at least, men and women agree: they both distrust women.
Topic: Distrust
Source: None
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Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt.
Topic: Doubt
Source: None
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The more a man dreams, the less he believes.
Topic: Dream
Source: None
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It is a sin to believe in the evil of others, but it is seldom a mistake.
Topic: Evil
Source: None
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Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief in the occurrence of the improbable.
Topic: Faith
Source: None
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Fame: an embalmer trembling with stage fright.
Topic: Fame
Source: None
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Imagine the Creator as a low comedian, and at once the world becomes explicable.
Topic: God
Source: None
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Democracy is the art and science of running the circus from the monkey cage.
Topic: Government
Source: None
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As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft. -H. L. Mencken.
Topic: Heart-quotes
Source: None
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As the arteries grow hard, the heart grows soft. thanks to Alan Bennett -H. L. Mencken.
Topic: Heart-quotes
Source: None
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In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.
Topic: Heroism
Source: None
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The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail; if it were not for this penalty, the jury would never hear the evidence.
Topic: Justice
Source: None
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One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms. It is not only more effective; it is also vastly more intelligent.
Topic: Laughter
Source: None
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I believe in only one thing: liberty; but I do not believe in liberty enough to want to force it upon anyone.
Topic: Liberty
Source: None
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Life is a dead-end street.
Topic: Life
Source: None
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Love: the delusion that one woman differs from another.
Topic: Love
Source: None
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Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
Topic: Love
Source: None
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Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. -H. L. Mencken.
Topic: Love
Source: None
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To be in love is merely to be in a perpetual state of anesthesia--to mistake an ordinary young man for a Greek god or an ordinary young woman for a goddess.
Topic: Love
Source: None
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The truth that survives is simply the lie that is pleasantest to believe.
Topic: Lying
Source: None
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Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too.
Topic: Marriage
Source: None
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If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse - as a man shoots himself.
Topic: Marriage
Source: None
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No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single.
Topic: Marriage
Source: None
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On one issue, at least, men and women agree; they both distrust women.
Topic: Men and Women
Source: None
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Bachelors have consciences, married men have wives.
Topic: Men and Women
Source: None
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Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too.
Topic: Men and Women
Source: None
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It is impossible to believe that the same God who permitted His own son to die a bachelor regards celibacy as an actual sin.
Topic: Men and Women
Source: None
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In war the heroes always outnumber the soldiers ten to one.
Topic: Military
Source: None
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The chief value of money lies in the fact that one lives in a world in which it is overestimated.
Topic: Money
Source: None
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Morality is the theory that every h uman act must be either right or wrong, and that 99 % of them are wrong.
Topic: Morals
Source: None
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Writing books is certainly a most unpleasant occupation. It is lonesome, unsanitary, and maddening. Many authors go crazy.
Topic: Occupation
Source: None
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The average man does not get pleasure out of an idea because he thinks it is true; he thinks it is true because he gets pleasure out of it.
Topic: Pleasure
Source: None
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The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed [and hence clamorous to be led to safety] by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.
Topic: Politics / Government
Source: None
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Under democracy, one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule -and both commonly succeed, and are right.
Topic: Politics / Government
Source: None
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Progress is the process whereby the human race is getting rid of whiskers, the veriform appendix and God.
Topic: Progress
Source: None
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It doesn't take a majority to make a rebellion; it takes only a few determined leaders and a sound cause.
Topic: Rebellion
Source: None
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We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
Topic: Religion
Source: None
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It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.
Topic: Religion / Beliefs
Source: None
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We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the same sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.
Topic: Religion / Beliefs
Source: None
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Remorse is regret that one waited so long to do it.
Topic: Remorse
Source: None
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The objection of the scandalmonger is not that she tells of racy doings, but that she pretends to be indignant about them.
Topic: Scandal
Source: None
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