World Of Quotes

Quotes, Sayings, and Proverbs
 Jack Handey Quotes
29 Famous Quotes by Jack Handey
2/25/1949 - (Present)
Professions:  
Information:  
About Jack Handey

If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is 'God is crying.' And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is 'Probably because of something you did.'

Humor Quotes, by Jack Handey

3 out of 5 stars
3 votes

Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.

Humor Quotes, by Jack Handey

3 out of 5 stars
5 votes

Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.

Humor Quotes, by Jack Handey

3 out of 5 stars
6 votes

I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.

Humor Quotes, by Jack Handey

2 out of 5 stars
3 votes