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 Jack Handy Quotes
103 Famous Quotes by Jack Handy

I'd like to see a nude opera, because when they hit those high notes, I bet you can really see it in those genitals

Opera Quotes, by Jack Handy

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Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered that they were not Indians at all but only dirty-clothes hampers.

Deep thoughts Quotes, by Jack Handy

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As we were driving, we saw a sign that said "Watch for Rocks." Marta said it should read "Watch for Pretty Rocks." I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke - just to get out of writing a simple letter! And I thought I was lazy!

Deep thoughts Quotes, by Jack Handy

2 out of 5 stars
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