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 Jack Handy Quotes
103 Famous Quotes by Jack Handy

I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.

Deep thoughts Quotes, by Jack Handy

2 out of 5 stars
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I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board of his. Then he'd spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he'd yell out, "Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!" We all thought he was crazy. But then we had some growing up to do.

Deep thoughts Quotes, by Jack Handy

2 out of 5 stars
1 votes

I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy---something like that.

Deep thoughts Quotes, by Jack Handy

2 out of 5 stars
2 votes