World Of Quotes

Quotes, Sayings, and Proverbs
 Jon Stewart Quotes
26 Famous Quotes by Jon Stewart
11/28/1962 - (Present)
Also Known As:  
Jonathan Stuart Leibowitz     Lefty     Soupy
Professions:  
Information:  
About Jon Stewart

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished fraud perpetrated on the American public by such companies as Enron, Global Crossing, Tyco and Adelphia, we finally got the ringleader. Maybe now we can lower the nation's terror alert to periwinkle.

Fraud Quotes, by Jon Stewart

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

We'd always sworn, we're taking 60 Minutes down. You, Frontline, all you guys. You're meat.

60 minutes Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys with M16s going, "Who'd you call a faggot?"

Army Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

Historic in a good sense, not historic in a sense of 'so we dropped bombs on everyone.'

Bombs Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

Just every moment with Dick Cheney has been my favorite. Here's what I wonder about Dick Cheney, and the reason that maybe they keep him only in loyalty oath audiences, is if he becomes angry, I do believe he turns into the Hulk. And so, they try and keep people from questioning him, because he'll just -- the shirt rips, and suddenly he has hair. So he's been my favorite, because he just goes out there to a room full of supporters and says, 'You know we're all going to die, right?' You're going to die unless I'm in charge.'

Dick cheney Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished fraud perpetrated on the American public by such companies as Enron, Global Crossing, Tyco and Adelphia, we finally got the ringleader. Maybe now we can lower the nation's terror alert to periwinkle.

Enron Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

I don't know why people think that somehow the First Amendment applies to network television. It doesn't. It's like the way free speech doesn't apply at work. You can't just walk into your boss' office and say 'you're a fuckface and I'm gonna go back to work now.' No, you're not.

Free speech Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

We'd always sworn, we're taking 60 Minutes down. You, Frontline, all you guys. You're meat.

Frontline Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote, man of the people, and reveal him to be a bit of a fat cat. Unlike the President who — as we all know — before attending Andover and Yale, was a Cockney matchstick girl dying of tuberculosis.

George w. bush Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished fraud perpetrated on the American public by such companies as Enron, Global Crossing, Tyco and Adelphia, we finally got the ringleader. Maybe now we can lower the nation's terror alert to periwinkle.

Global crossing Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

Why can't they have gay people in the army? Personally, I think they are just afraid of a thousand guys with M16s going, "Who'd you call a faggot?"

Homosexuality Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

GOP strategists hope the revelation of Kerry's wealth might debunk his status as a, quote, man of the people, and reveal him to be a bit of a fat cat. Unlike the President who — as we all know — before attending Andover and Yale, was a Cockney matchstick girl dying of tuberculosis.

John kerry Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

I don't know why people think that somehow the First Amendment applies to network television. It doesn't. It's like the way free speech doesn't apply at work. You can't just walk into your boss' office and say 'you're a fuckface and I'm gonna go back to work now.' No, you're not.

Network television Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with… at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even.

News Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't… you know, it's interesting. I think we don't make things up. We just distill it to, hopefully, its most humorous nugget. And in that sense it seems faked and skewed just because we don't have to be subjective or pretend to be objective. We can just put it out there.

News Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We don't have to - we travel in fake ethics.

News Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

Just every moment with Dick Cheney has been my favorite. Here's what I wonder about Dick Cheney, and the reason that maybe they keep him only in loyalty oath audiences, is if he becomes angry, I do believe he turns into the Hulk. And so, they try and keep people from questioning him, because he'll just -- the shirt rips, and suddenly he has hair. So he's been my favorite, because he just goes out there to a room full of supporters and says, 'You know we're all going to die, right?' You're going to die unless I'm in charge.'

Republican Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change… I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.

Social change Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

Yes! Finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished fraud perpetrated on the American public by such companies as Enron, Global Crossing, Tyco and Adelphia, we finally got the ringleader. Maybe now we can lower the nation's terror alert to periwinkle.

Terror alert Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

But we are at war, and we here at THE DAILY SHOW will do our best to keep you informed of any late-breaking...humor we can find. Of course, our show is obviously at a disadvantage compared to the many news sources that we're competing with… at a disadvantage in several respects. For one thing, we are fake. They are not. So in terms of credibility we are, well, oddly enough, actually about even. We're about even.

The daily show Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about things that I actually care about. And that's really it. You know, if I really wanted to enact social change… I have great respect for people who are in the front lines and the trenches of trying to enact social change. I am far lazier than that.

The daily show Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

I am a tiny, neurotic man, standing in the back of the room throwing tomatoes at the chalk board. And that's really it. And what we do is we come in in the morning and we go, "Did you see that thing last night? Aahh!" And then we spend the next 8 or 9 hours trying to take this and make it into something funny.

The daily show Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

For me it was just exciting to see fake news catching on like that. We don't… you know, it's interesting. I think we don't make things up. We just distill it to, hopefully, its most humorous nugget. And in that sense it seems faked and skewed just because we don't have to be subjective or pretend to be objective. We can just put it out there.

The daily show Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

We'd always sworn, we're taking 60 Minutes down. You, Frontline, all you guys. You're meat.

The daily show Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

We don't consider ourselves equal opportunity anythings, because that's not - you know, that's the beauty of fake journalism. We don't have to - we travel in fake ethics.

The daily show Quotes, by Jon Stewart

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes