| 15 Famous Quotes by Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens)
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“Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of
ourselves and how little we think of the other person.”
Breeding Quotes Source: Notebooks
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“Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good
example.”
Example Quotes Source: Pudd'nhead Wilson (ch. 19)
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“He was a very inferior farmer when he first begun . . . and he is
now fast rising from affluence to poverty.”
Agriculture Quotes Source: Rev. Henry Ward Beecher's Farm
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“Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are
more deadly in the long run.”
Cleanliness Quotes Source: A Curious Dream, "Facts concerning the Recent Resignation"
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“There's plenty of boys that will come hankering and gruvvelling
around when you've got an apple, and beg the core off you; but
when they're got one, and you beg for the core, and remind them
how you give them a core one time, they take a mouth at you, and
say thank you 'most to death, but there ain't a-going to be no
core.”
Apples Quotes Source: Tom Sawyer Abroad (ch. I)
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“All kings is mostly rapscallions.”
Royalty Quotes Source: The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn (ch. 23)
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“All the territorial possessions of all the political
establishments in the earth--including America, of course--
consist of pilferings from other people's wash. No tribe,
howsoever insignificant, and no nation, howsoever mighty occupies
a foot of land that was not stolen.”
Countries Quotes Source: Following the Equator
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“Lump the whole thing! say that the Creator made Italy from
designs by Michel Angelo!”
Italy Quotes Source: The Innocents Abroad (ch. 27)
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“The two Great Unknowns, the two Illustrious Conjecturabilities!
They are the best known unknown persons that have ever drawn
breath upon the planet. (the Devil and Shakespeare.)”
Worth Quotes Source: Shakespeare Dead? (ch. III)
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“There are several good protections against temptations, but the
surest is cowardice.”
Temptation Quotes Source: Following the Equator (ch. 36)
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“Modesty antedates clothes and will be resumed when clothes are no
more.
Modesty died when clothes were born.
Modesty died when false modesty was born.”
Modesty Quotes Source: Memoranda (vol. III, p. 1513), in Paine's "Biography of Mark Twain"
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“They spell it Vinci and pronounce it Vinchy; foreigners always
spell better than they pronounce.”
Spelling Quotes Source: The Innocents Abroad (ch. 19)
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“Conductor, when you receive a fare,
Punch in the presence of the passenjare.
A blue trip slip for an eight-cent fare,
A buff trip slip for a six-cent fare,
A pink trip slip for a three-cent fare,
Punch in the presence of the passenjare!
Punch, brothers! punch with care!
Punch in the presence of the passenjare!”
Nonsense Quotes Source: Punch, Brothers, Punch, used in "Literary Nightmare"
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“It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt
you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get
the news to you.”
Sadness Quotes Source: Following the Equator (ch. 45)
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“All the territorial possessions of all the political
establishments in the earth--including America, of course--
consist of pilferings from other people's wash. No tribe,
howsoever insignificant, and no nation, howsoever mighty occupies
a foot of land that was not stolen.”
Land Quotes Source: Following the Equator
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Mark Twain (pseudonym of Samuel Langhorne Clemens) Quotes, Quotations, and Sayings
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