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 Mark Twain Quotes
326 Famous Quotes by Mark Twain
11/30/1835 - 4/21/1910
Also Known As:  
Samuel Clemens     Samuel Langhorne Clemens     Twain Mark
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About Mark Twain

The trouble with you Chicago people is that you think you are the best people down here, whereas you are merely the most numerous.

Chicago Quotes, by Mark Twain

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Circumstance - which moves by laws of its own, regardless of parties and policies, and whose decrees are final and must be obeyed by all - and will be

Circumstances Quotes, by Mark Twain

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I think a compliment ought always to precede a complaint, where one is possible, because it softens resentment and insures for the complaint a courteous and gentle reception

Compliments Quotes, by Mark Twain

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The man that sets out to carry a cat by it's tail learns something that will always be useful and which will never grow dim or doubtful.

Consequences Quotes, by Mark Twain

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Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

Country Quotes, by Mark Twain

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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear

Courage Quotes, by Mark Twain

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Have a place for everything and keep the thing somewhere else; this is not advice, it is merely custom.

Custom Quotes, by Mark Twain

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Diligence is a good thing, but taking things easy is much more restful

Diligence Quotes, by Mark Twain

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The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice

Discrimination Quotes, by Mark Twain

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It is curious - curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare

Ethics Quotes, by Mark Twain

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Etiquette requires us to admire the human race

Etiquette Quotes, by Mark Twain

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Etiquette tip: More people will get out of your way if you say "I'm gonna puke!" than if you say "Excuse me".

Etiquette Quotes, by Mark Twain

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Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.

Example Quotes, by Mark Twain

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I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.

Exercise Quotes, by Mark Twain

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Sacred cows make the best hamburger

Food Quotes, by Mark Twain

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God, grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference

Fortune Quotes, by Mark Twain

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I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Funerals Quotes, by Mark Twain

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Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

Funny Quotes, by Mark Twain

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Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth.

Government Quotes, by Mark Twain

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Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Heaven Quotes, by Mark Twain

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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

Illusion Quotes, by Mark Twain

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You can't depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.

Imagination Quotes, by Mark Twain

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It is wiser to find out than to suppose

Intelligence Quotes, by Mark Twain

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A public library is the most enduring of memorials, the trustiest monument for the preservation of an event or a name or an affection; for it, and it only, is respected by wars and revolutions, and survives them

Libraries Quotes, by Mark Twain

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Often, the less there is to justify a traditional custom, the harder it is to get rid of it.

Logic Quotes, by Mark Twain

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