Phyllis Diller Quotes, Quotations, and Sayings

12 Famous Quotes by Phyllis Diller
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“A bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once”
Bachelors Quotes
“We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.”
Children Quotes
“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor”
Cooking Quotes
“My recipe for dealing with anger and frustration: set the kitchen timer for twenty minutes, cry, rant, and rave, and at the sound of the bell, simmer down and go about business as usual”
Frustration Quotes
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.”
Mothers Quotes
“The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing.”
Golf Quotes
“A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.”
Smile Quotes
“If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.”
Baseball Quotes
“Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.”
Anger Quotes
“I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard.”
Housework Quotes
“If your house is really a mess and a stranger comes to the door greet him with, "Who could have done this? we have no enemies.".”
Housework Quotes
“I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. There's no use doing it now, it doesn't fit anybody I know.”
Housework Quotes
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