Richard J. Needham was a Canadian humour columnist for The Globe and Mail.
Many of his columns were collected in a variety of books, including The Garden of Needham and Needham's Inferno, which won the Stephen Leacock Memorial Medal for Humour in 1967.
Needham also coined Mop and Pail and Grope and Flail as unflattering nicknames for his employer, both of which are still in use today. Needham was influenced by the work of H.L. Mencken, whose credited comments, especially about politicians and women, found their way into his columns. Needham spent most of his career on the Globe's editorial board.
His own bon mots, such as "Every woman needs one man in her life who is strong and responsible. Given this security, she can proceed to do what she really wants to do — fall in love with men who are weak and irresponsible,” won him a following across Canada.
Needham had often expressed to Globe and Mail staff that he wished for his death to be announced to the public with a notice reading "Richard J. Needham's tiresome and boring column will not appear today, because he is dead"; even though Needham had retired more than ten years before his 1996 death, his request was honored.