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12 Quotes for 'Steven Wright' in the Database.
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:: Author »
Letter "S" »
Steven Wright Quotes
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Winny and I lived in a house that ran on static electricity... If you wanted to run the blender, you had to rub balloons on your head. If you wanted to cook, you had to pull off a sweater real quick.
Topic: Balloons
Source: None
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
Topic: Cats
Source: None
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Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Topic: Comedians
Source: None
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Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Topic: Curiosity
Source: None
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Two babies were born on the same day at the same hospital. They lay there and looked at each other. Their familiescame and took them away. Eighty years later, by a bizarre coincidence, they lay in the same hospital, on their deathbeds, next to each other. One of them looked at the other and said,
So. What did you think?.
Topic: Death / Immortality
Source: None
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Consciousness: That annoying time between naps
Topic: Naps
Source: None
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I took a course in speed waiting. Now I can wait an hour in only ten minutes.
Topic: Waiting
Source: None
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Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Topic: Walking
Source: None
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If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Topic: Words
Source: None
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I xeroxed my watch. Now I can give away free watches.
Topic: Xerox
Source: None
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I xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra xerox machine.
Topic: Xerox
Source: None
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Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Topic: ~curiosity
Source: None
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