World Of Quotes

Quotes, Sayings, and Proverbs
 Woody Allen Quotes
74 Famous Quotes by Woody Allen
12/1/1935 - (Present)
Also Known As:  
Allan Stewart Konigsberg     Allen Konigsberg     Allen Stewart Konigsberg
Professions:  
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About Woody Allen

I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.

Government Quotes, by Woody Allen

5 out of 5 stars
3 votes

Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.

Art Quotes, by Woody Allen

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.

Cheating Quotes, by Woody Allen

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

The best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway.

Dating Quotes, by Woody Allen

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.

Economy Quotes, by Woody Allen

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Education Quotes, by Woody Allen

5 out of 5 stars
2 votes

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Immortality Quotes, by Woody Allen

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.

Sex Quotes, by Woody Allen

4 out of 5 stars
3 votes

Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.

Literature Quotes, by Woody Allen

4 out of 5 stars
1 votes

A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times

Sex Quotes, by Woody Allen

4 out of 5 stars
2 votes

If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe.

Inspirational Quotes, by Woody Allen

4 out of 5 stars
1 votes

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions

Sex Quotes, by Woody Allen

3 out of 5 stars
3 votes

Eternity is really long, especially near the end

Eternity Quotes, by Woody Allen

3 out of 5 stars
1 votes

Innovation is the ability to see change as an opportunity - not a threat

Innovation Quotes, by Woody Allen

3 out of 5 stars
2 votes

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

Suffering Quotes, by Woody Allen

3 out of 5 stars
3 votes

How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.

God Quotes, by Woody Allen

3 out of 5 stars
2 votes

What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.

Universe Quotes, by Woody Allen

3 out of 5 stars
3 votes

Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.

Life Quotes, by Woody Allen

1 out of 5 stars
1 votes

If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".

Advice Quotes, by Woody Allen

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

Comedy Quotes, by Woody Allen

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me

Goodness Quotes, by Woody Allen

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife

Infidelity Quotes, by Woody Allen

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job

Movies Quotes, by Woody Allen

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk.

People Quotes, by Woody Allen

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

Sense of humor Quotes, by Woody Allen

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes