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 Woody Allen Quotes
74 Famous Quotes by Woody Allen
12/1/1935 - (Present)
Also Known As:  
Allan Stewart Konigsberg     Allen Konigsberg     Allen Stewart Konigsberg
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About Woody Allen

sex is simple, love stings afterwards.

Sex Quotes, by Woody Allen

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Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any

Sex Quotes, by Woody Allen

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Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'

Sex Quotes, by Woody Allen

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Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Smoking Quotes, by Woody Allen

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Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Traditions Quotes, by Woody Allen

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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

Writers Quotes, by Woody Allen

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Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.

Love Quotes, by Woody Allen

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Death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you. •Woody Allen At the end of the game the king and the pawn go back in the same box. •Italian Proverb Life is a great surprise. I don't see why death should not be an even greater one. •Vladimir Nabokov Dear World, I am leaving because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool. Good luck. •George Sanders, his suicide note There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval. •Santayana Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. •George Bernard Shaw Do not go gentle into that good night. Old age should burn and rave at close of day. Rage, rage against the dying of the light. •Dylan Thomas To live is to dream and to die is to awaken. •Anonymous We sometimes congratulate ourselves at the moment of waking from a troubled dream; it may be so at the moment after death. •Nathaniel Hawthorne All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. •Anatole France We are bound to our bodies like an oyster is to its shell. •Plato Dying is like getting out of a car. You leave a shell behind, but you're the same person as ever. •President Klein The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy . What the caterpillar calls the end of the world, the master calls a butterfly. •Richard Bach If there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life. •Albert Camus We do not know what to do with this short life, yet we yearn for another that will be eternal. •Anatole France I'm the one who has to die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life, the way I want to. •Jimi Hendrix The real malady is fear of life, not of death.

Death Quotes, by Woody Allen

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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a cross-roads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

Despair Quotes, by Woody Allen

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There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Goodness Quotes, by Woody Allen

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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying.

Immortality Quotes, by Woody Allen

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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

Metaphysics Quotes, by Woody Allen

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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money Quotes, by Woody Allen

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The only way to be happy is to love to suffer.

Suffering Quotes, by Woody Allen

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Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Inspirational Quotes, by Woody Allen

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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

Inspirational Quotes, by Woody Allen

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Ninety percent of success is showing up.

Inspirational Quotes, by Woody Allen

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A "Bay Area Bisexual" told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.

Inspirational Quotes, by Woody Allen

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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Inspirational Quotes, by Woody Allen

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Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.

Inspirational Quotes, by Woody Allen

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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

Inspirational Quotes, by Woody Allen

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It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.

Politics / government Quotes, by Woody Allen

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The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..

All about love Quotes, by Woody Allen

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I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Death / immortality Quotes, by Woody Allen

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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!

Death / immortality Quotes, by Woody Allen

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