World Of Quotes

Quotes, Sayings, and Proverbs
 Woody Allen Quotes
74 Famous Quotes by Woody Allen
12/1/1935 - (Present)
Also Known As:  
Allan Stewart Konigsberg     Allen Konigsberg     Allen Stewart Konigsberg
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About Woody Allen

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

Sense of humor Quotes, by Woody Allen

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sex is simple, love stings afterwards.

Sex Quotes, by Woody Allen

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Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any

Sex Quotes, by Woody Allen

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Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'

Sex Quotes, by Woody Allen

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Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.

Smoking Quotes, by Woody Allen

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Tradition is the illusion of permanance.

Traditions Quotes, by Woody Allen

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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

Writers Quotes, by Woody Allen

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Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty interesting questions.

Love Quotes, by Woody Allen

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More than any other time in history, mankind faces a cross-roads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly.

Despair Quotes, by Woody Allen

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There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more.

Goodness Quotes, by Woody Allen

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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. . . I want to achieve it through not dying.

Immortality Quotes, by Woody Allen

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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

Metaphysics Quotes, by Woody Allen

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Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.

Money Quotes, by Woody Allen

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The only way to be happy is to love to suffer.

Suffering Quotes, by Woody Allen

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Eighty percent of success is showing up.

Inspirational Quotes, by Woody Allen

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What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

Inspirational Quotes, by Woody Allen

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Ninety percent of success is showing up.

Inspirational Quotes, by Woody Allen

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A "Bay Area Bisexual" told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires.

Inspirational Quotes, by Woody Allen

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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.

Inspirational Quotes, by Woody Allen

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Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she would come in and sink my boats.

Inspirational Quotes, by Woody Allen

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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.

Inspirational Quotes, by Woody Allen

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It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies.

Politics / government Quotes, by Woody Allen

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The lion and the calf will lay down together, but the calf won't get much sleep..

All about love Quotes, by Woody Allen

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I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.

Death / immortality Quotes, by Woody Allen

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I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it by not dying!

Death / immortality Quotes, by Woody Allen

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