| 74 Famous Quotes by Woody Allen
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“On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.”
Death / immortality Quotes |
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“There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?.”
Death / immortality Quotes |
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“Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.”
Finance and economics Quotes |
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“How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans.”
God Quotes |
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“Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.”
Melancholy Quotes |
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“If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.”
Negativity Quotes |
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“I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.”
Perspective Quotes |
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“We would often be sorry if our wishes were gratified.”
Perspective Quotes |
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“Not only is there no God, but trying getting a plumber on weekends.”
Society Quotes |
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“What do I dislike about death? Must be the hours.”
Universe Quotes |
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“Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who cannot remember where they left things.”
Universe Quotes |
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“There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”
Universe Quotes |
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“I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.”
Universe Quotes |
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“The difference between sex and death is that with death you can do it alone and no one is going to make fun of you.”
Universe Quotes |
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“A relationship, I think, is like a shark, you know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.”
Miscellaneous Quotes |
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“I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member.”
Miscellaneous Quotes |
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“Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.”
Miscellaneous Quotes |
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“There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?”
Miscellaneous Quotes |
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“Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.”
Miscellaneous Quotes |
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“The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind -- a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house.”
Miscellaneous Quotes |
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“Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?”
Miscellaneous Quotes |
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“I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
Miscellaneous Quotes |
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“Capital punishment would be more effective as a preventive measure if it were administered prior to the crime.”
Miscellaneous Quotes |
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“If you're not failing every now and again, it's a sign you're not doing anything very innovative.”
Miscellaneous Quotes |
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Woody Allen Quotes, Quotations, and Sayings
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