| 74 Famous Quotes by Woody Allen
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“I believe there is something out there watching us. Unfortunately, it's the government.”
Government Quotes |
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“Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions”
Sex Quotes |
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“Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.”
Sex Quotes |
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“If you have a lot of tension and you get a headache, do what it says on the aspirin bottle: "Take two aspirin" and "Keep away from children".”
Advice Quotes |
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“Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television.”
Art Quotes |
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“I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.”
Cheating Quotes |
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“To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.”
Comedy Quotes |
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“The best way to find your perfect match is to meet love halfway.”
Dating Quotes |
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“The study of economy usually shows us that the best time for purchase was last year.”
Economy Quotes |
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“Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.”
Education Quotes |
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“Eternity is really long, especially near the end”
Eternity Quotes |
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“I've often said, the only thing standing between me and greatness is me”
Goodness Quotes |
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“I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.”
Immortality Quotes |
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“I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife”
Infidelity Quotes |
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“Innovation is the ability to see change as an opportunity - not a threat”
Innovation Quotes |
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“Just don't take any class where you have to read BEOWULF.”
Literature Quotes |
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“If my film makes one more person miserable, I've done my job”
Movies Quotes |
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“If it wasn't for dogs, some people would never go for a walk.”
People Quotes |
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“I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.”
Sense of humor Quotes |
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“A woman's appetite is twice that of a man's; her sexual desire, four times; her intelligence, eight times”
Sex Quotes |
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“sex is simple, love stings afterwards.”
Sex Quotes |
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“Sex is like air; it's not important unless you aren't getting any”
Sex Quotes |
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“Sex is nature's way of saying 'Hi!'”
Sex Quotes |
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“Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast.”
Smoking Quotes |
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“To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.”
Suffering Quotes |
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Woody Allen Quotes, Quotations, and Sayings
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