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Morning people: "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise."
Night people: "Anybody who goes to bed the same day they got up is a quitter.".
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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Mosquitoes are a great moral force; it forces mankind to wear more clothes that modesty.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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Most accidents happen at home - maybe we should move.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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Most books now say our sun is a star. But it still knows how to change back into a sun in the daytime.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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Most of our suspicions of others are aroused by our knowledge of ourselves.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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Most people want to serve God -- but only in an advisory capacity.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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Mother: "Why are you home from school so early?"
Son: "I was the only one who could answer a question."
Mother: "Oh, really? What was the question?"
Son: "Who threw the eraser at the principal?".
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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Mrs. Squiffy decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.""But you are not wearing any of those things." "I know," said Mrs. Squiffy. "It's in case I should die before my husband.
I'm sure he will remarry, and I want his new wife to go nuts looking for the jewelry.".
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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Murphy's Law isn't recursive. Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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My aim is that when my hands will work no longer, that the works of my hands will still continue to keep on working.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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My best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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My biggest problem is that I believe almost everything I tell myself.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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My "check engine" light came on the other day. I popped the hood, and looked, the engine is STILL there! Silly light . . .
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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My dog is very obedient,
he does what he is bid.
A sign said 'wet paint',
and that's just what he did.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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My face in the mirror
Isn't wrinkled or drawn.
My house isn't dirty.
The cobwebs are gone.
My garden looks lovely,
And so does my lawn.
I think I might never
Put my glasses back on.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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My five-year-old daughter was asked by her teacher what her father does, and she replied, "Whatever my Mom tells him to.".
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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My goal in life is to be the sort of person my dog thinks I am.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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My house was clean last week.Sorry you missed it.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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My love is like a cabbage, divided into two,
The leaves I give to others but the heart I give to you.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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My parents worked hard to give us everything money could not buy.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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My pastor-husband has a sweet tooth, so I knew the chocolate chip cookies I'd just baked might disappear before I returned from running
errands. To discourage him, I taped a verse on the wrapped goodies: "'Everything is permissible for me, but not everything is beneficial." - 1 Cor.
6:12. When I returned I found half the cookies gone and another verse attached: "The righteous eat to their heart's content, but the stomach
of the wicked goes hungry" - Prov. 13:25.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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My wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to our six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" I
wouldn't know what to say," she replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," my wife said. Our daughter bowed her head and said: "Dear Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?".
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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My worst day of vacation has always been better than my best day at work.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest of these is: "It might have
been".
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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Of course, there's now a higher percentage of seat belt users. The non-users are slowly being killed off.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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Often, the only way to comfort the suffering is to understand that you can't understand and just be there.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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Oh Lord, help me to keep my big mouth shut until I know what I'm talking about.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: Now available in multi-packs.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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On a front door: Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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On a very cold, snowy Sunday in February, only the pastor and one farmer
arrived at the village church. The pastor said, "Well, I guess we won't have
a service today." The farmer replied: "Heavens!, if even only one cow shows
up at feeding time, I feed it.".
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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One good thing about forgetting is that you can no longer worry about what ever it was you forgot.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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One half of the world will never understand the other half, and it doesn't matter which half you're in.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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One reason why computers can do more work than people is that they never have to stop and answer the phone.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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One thing you can give and still keep, is your word.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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One time a windshield wiper will work properly is when it is holding a parking ticket.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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One who looks for a friend without faults will have none.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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One Youngster was explaining to another what "mixed emotions" meant. "It's like watching the school burn down when your new catcher's mitt is in your desk," he said.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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Only in America do people order double cheese burgers, a large fries, and a diet coke.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave
useless things and junk in boxes in the garage.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers. A little voice from the back of the room asked: "How will that help?".
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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Optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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Others may argue your beliefs, but they can't refuse your love.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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Our arms are the only ones God has to hug His children.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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Our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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