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A stand can be made against invasion of an army; no stand can be made against invasion of an idea.
Author: Unknown
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A statesman shears the sheep. A politician skins them.
Author: Unknown
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A status symbol is a symbol, not status.
Author: Unknown
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A student writes a letter via telegram to his Dad . . .It goes . . . no fun, send mon, your Son!Dad write back saying . . . so sad, too bad, your Dad!
Author: Unknown
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A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she dismissed them
to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" Annie
replied, "Because people are sleeping.".
Author: Unknown
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A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby-sitter.".
Author: Unknown
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A Sunday School teacher began her lesson with a question, "Boys and girls, what do we know about God?A hand shot up in the air. "He is an artist!" said the kindergarten boy."Really? How do you know?" the teacher asked."You know - Our Father, who does art in Heaven... ".
Author: Unknown
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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill.".
Author: Unknown
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A sweater is usually put on a child when the parent feels chilly.
Author: Unknown
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A synonym is a word you use in place of one you can't spell.
Author: Unknown
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A talent is formed in stillness, a character in the world's torrent.
Author: Unknown
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At a party, a woman walked up to Calvin Coolidge, 30th President of the United States, and said, "My husband bet me I couldn't get three words out of you."Coolidge replied, "You lose.".
Author: Unknown
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A teacher asked her students if they could use the words 'defeat, defense, and detail' in a sentence. Little Johnny was a smartly, so he answered with, " De feet of de dog went over de fence before de tail.".
Author: Unknown
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A teacher observed a boy entering the classroom with dirty hands. She stopped him and said, "Johnny, please wash your hands. My goodness, what would you say if I came into the room with hands like that?" With a smile the boy replied, "I think I'd be too polite to mention it.".
Author: Unknown
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A tear shed can say more than a hundred words spoken.
Author: Unknown
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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Author: Unknown
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A three year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left was on the right foot. She said: "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet."He looked up at her with a raised brow and said:"Don't kid me, Mom. I know they're my feet.".
Author: Unknown
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A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense.
Author: Unknown
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A true friend walks in when the world walks out.
Author: Unknown
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A truth spoken before its time is dangerous.
Author: Unknown
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At Sunday school, the teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you know where little boys and girls go when they do bad things?" "Sure," Little Johnny replied. "They go out in back of the church yard.".
Author: Unknown
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At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, Johnny what is the matter? Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.".
Author: Unknown
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Attend Church weekly NOT weakly.
Author: Unknown
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is hell? Come early and listen to our choir practice.
Author: Unknown
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Attitude might not catch fish, but it helps when you don't.
Author: Unknown
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Attitude must be an art because it draws, and not a science because it can't be measured.
Author: Unknown
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A twofold national problem is how to preserve the wilderness in the country and get rid of the jungle in the cities.
Author: Unknown
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At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
Author: Unknown
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"Automatic" simply means that you can't repair it yourself.
Author: Unknown
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Autopsy is a dying practice.
Author: Unknown
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Availability is better than ability for God.
Author: Unknown
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A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.
Author: Unknown
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A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his
mother, "Who am I?" Ready to play the game she said, "I don't know! Who are
you?" "WOW!" cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was so
dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me!".
Author: Unknown
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A vibration is a motion that can't make up its mind which way it wants to go.
Author: Unknown
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A vicar was preparing to leave his parish. In order to avoid a particular
parishioner being sad, he said "Don't worry, you'll probably get a better
man." "Not necessarily," replied the parishioner, "that's what the last one
said before he left.".
Author: Unknown
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A weird thing about humans is we work till we're sick to get a fortune, then pay a fortune to get well again.
Author: Unknown
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A wife is a person who can look in the top drawer of a dresser and find a man's handkerchief that isn't there.
Author: Unknown
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A winner says, "There must be a better way to do it".A loser says, "This is the way it has always been done here".
Author: Unknown
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A wise man sees as much as he should, not as much as he can.
Author: Unknown
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A wise person escapes temptation and leaves no forwarding address.
Author: Unknown
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A wise person has something to say, a fool has to say something.
Author: Unknown
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A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.".
Author: Unknown
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A 'wish' changes nothing. A 'decision' changes everything!
Author: Unknown
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A woman never shot a man while he was doing dishes.
Author: Unknown
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A woman's greatest power is her vulnerability.
Author: Unknown
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A word gets its meaning by the person who speaks it.
Author: Unknown
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A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.
Author: Unknown
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A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say Grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from countless refrigerator leftovers. "I don't know," he said dubiously. "It seems to me that we've blessed all this stuff before.".
Author: Unknown
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A young minister was helping his wife with the dishes meanwhile complaining: "This is not a man's job!" "Oh, yes, it is!" she said, as she quoted from 2 Kings 21:13, "I will wipe Jerusalem as a man wipeth a
dish, wiping it and turning it upside down!".
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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