World Of Quotes

Quotes, Sayings, and Proverbs
 Comedy Quotes, Quotations, and Sayings
11 Comedy Quotes

Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.

Robin Williams Quotes

5 out of 5 stars
1 votes

See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.

Robin Williams Quotes

3 out of 5 stars
1 votes

I use the word totally too much. I need to change it up and use a word that is different but has the same meaning. Mitch do you like submarine sandwhiches? All-encompassingly...

Mitch Hedberg Quotes

3 out of 5 stars
1 votes

I wonder if illiterate people get the full effect of alphabet soup?'

Jerry Seinfield Quotes

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love. But then, one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy, one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness.

Woody Allen Quotes

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework

Bill Cosby Quotes

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

Americans who travel abroad for the first time are often shocked to discover that, despite all the progress that has been made in the last 30 years, many foreign people still speak in foreign languages

Dave Barry Quotes

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

The most protean aspect of comedy is its potentiality for transcending itself, for responding to the conditions of tragedy by laughing in the darkness.

Harry Levin Quotes

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupis... one of those two doesn't sound right.

Mitch Hedberg Quotes

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'

Mitch Hedberg Quotes

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes

What do you mean, funny? Funny-peculiar or funny ha-ha?

Ian Hay (pseudonym of Major John Hay Beith) Quotes , Source: The Housemaster (act 3)

0 out of 5 stars
0 votes