A system support specialist's life is a sorry one. The only advantage he has over ER doctors is that malpractice suits are rare. On the other hand, ER doctors never have to deal with patients installing new versions of their own innards! Dick Maliska Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining. •Jeff Raskin Applying computer technology is simply finding the right wrench to pound in the correct screw. •Anonymous The Programmer's Time-Space Continuum is defined as "Programmers continuously space the time." •Leon Lanthier Computers are useless - they only give you answers. •Pablo Picasso "Paradosfunctionoracle" is the term used by technicians to describe the reason no one knows why your computer won't work. •J. H. Goldfuss No machine will increase the possibilities of life. They only increase the possibilities of idleness. •John Ruskin All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors. •Anonymous Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don't add up. •James Magary Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes. •E W Dijkstra Where a calculator on the ENIAC is equpped with 18,000 vaccuum tubes and weighs 30 tons, computers in the future may have only 1,000 vaccuum tubes and perhaps weigh 1 1/2 tons. •Popular Mechanics, 1949 Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done. •Andy Rooney Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers. •Edward Shepherd Mead A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that worked. •John Gall There won't be anything we won't say to people to try and convince them that our way is the way to go. •Bill Gates If you can't make it good, at least make it look good. •Bill Gates Looking at the proliferation of personal web pages on the net, it looks like very soon everyone on earth will have 15 Megabytes of fame. •MG Siriam Surfing on the Internet is like sex; everyone boasts about doing more than they actually do. But in the case of the Internet, it's a lot more. •Tom Fasulo Cyberspace: A consensual hallucination experienced daily by billions of legitimate operators, in every nation. •William Gibson URLs are the 800 numbers of the 1990's. •Chris Clark My favorite thing about the Internet is that you get to go into the private world of real creeps without having to smell them. •Penn Jillett We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true. •Robert Wilensky It shouldn't be too much of a surprise that the Internet has evolved into a force strong enough to reflect the greatest hopes and fears of those who use it. After all, it was designed to withstand nuclear war, not just the puny huffs and puffs of politicians and religious fanatics. •Denise Caruso Wow! They've got the internet on computers now! •Homer Simpson Man is a game playing animal and a computer is another way to play games. •Scott Adams I do not fear computers. I fear lack of them. •Isaac Asimov Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idoits. So far, the Universe is winning. •Rich Cook If automobiles had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside. •Robert Cringely I try to get people to see what I have... When you run a computer company, you have to get people to buy into your dreams. •Steve Jobs The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wacking them around a little. •Porterfield People who buy Macs are the same people who said BETA is better than VHS 15 years ago. •Anonymous Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand. •Anonymous But in our enthusiasm, we could not resist a radical overhaul of the system, in which all of its major weaknesses have been exposed, analyzed, and replaced with new weaknesses. •Bruce Leverett Anybody who's studied software engineering knows that a schedule which underestimates the time needed to develop a project actually makes the project take longer.