| 33 Funny Quotes
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“There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.”
Josh Groban Quotes |
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“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
Robert McCloskey Quotes |
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“I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."”
Oscar Wilde Quotes |
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“I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.”
Oscar Wilde Quotes |
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“Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.”
Oscar Wilde Quotes |
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“It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.”
Oscar Wilde Quotes |
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“I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.”
Oscar Wilde Quotes |
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“You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.”
Ethel Barrymore Quotes |
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“The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”
Oscar Wilde Quotes |
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“In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.”
Oscar Wilde Quotes |
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“By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.”
Oscar Wilde Quotes |
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“This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.”
Oscar Wilde Quotes |
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“Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.”
Oscar Wilde Quotes |
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“A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.”
Oscar Wilde Quotes |
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“Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.”
Oscar Wilde Quotes |
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“Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.”
Oscar Wilde Quotes |
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“I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.”
Winston Churchill Quotes |
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“Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.”
Douglas Adams Quotes |
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“Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back”
Janeane Garofalo Quotes |
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“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'”
Tommy Cooper Quotes |
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“When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.”
Mae West Quotes |
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“Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.”
Benny Hill Quotes |
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“I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure”
Victor Borge Quotes |
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“Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.”
Oscar Wilde Quotes |
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“I speak two languages, Body and English.”
Mae West Quotes |
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Funny Quotes, Quotations, and Sayings
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