Some people are like Slinkies - not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Drew Carey
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I have a fine sense of the ridiculous, but no sense of humour.
Edward Albee
Quotes , Source: Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (act I)
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The gods too are fond of a joke.
Edward Albee
Quotes , Source: Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (act I)
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Humor has justly been regarded as the finest perfection of poetic
genius.
Thomas Carlyle
Quotes , Source: Essays-Schiller
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Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion
that he is trying to be funny.
Thomas Carlyle
Quotes , Source: Essays-Schiller
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Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their
earthly pedestals.
Agnes Repplier
Quotes , Source: Points of View
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Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.
Agnes Repplier
Quotes , Source: Points of View
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Now I perceive the devil understands Welsh.
And 'tis no marvel he is so humorous.
By'r Lady, he is a good musician.
William Shakespeare
Quotes , Source: King Henry the Fourth, Part I (Hotspur at III, i)
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There's the humour of it.
William Shakespeare
Quotes , Source: The Merry Wives of Windsor (I, i), inserted by Theobald from the quarto
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Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it
ceases to be serious when people laugh.
George Bernard Shaw
Quotes , Source: The Doctor's Dilemma
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My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke
in the world.
George Bernard Shaw
Quotes , Source: John Bull's Other Island (act II)
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If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
Jack Handey
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I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver…and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.
Jack Handey
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If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.
Jack Handey
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I wish outer space guys would conquer the Earth and make people their pets, because I'd like to have one of those little beds with my name on it.
Jack Handey
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If they ever come up with a swashbuckling school, I think one of the courses should be laughing, then jumping off something.
Jack Handey
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If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like 'Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!' and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, 'That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice.' Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice.
Jack Handey
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Many people think that history is a dull subject. Dull? Is it 'dull' that Jesse James once got bitten on the forehead by an ant, and at first it didn't seem like anything, but then the bite got worse and worse, so he went to a doctor in town, and the secretary told him to wait, so he sat down and waited, and waited, and waited, and waited, and then finally he got to see the doctor, and the doctor put some salve on it? You call that dull?
Jack Handey
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Folks that blurt out just what they think wouldn't be so bad if they thought.
Kin Hubbard
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