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a Christmas tree .. the perfect gift
for a guy... the plant is already dead
(monologue Dec 10 2003).
Author: Jay Leno
Source: None
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Is anything besides the mind ever boggled?
Author: O Anna Niemus
Source: None
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There's a woman in China having a baby every 6 minutes.
They're trying to find her to stop her.
Author: Jr
Source: None
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A rich man's joke is always funny.
Author: Thomas Edward Brown
Source: None
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Humore is an affirmation of man's dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.
Author: Romain Cary
Source: None
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Humor is not a postscript or an incidental afterthought; it is a serious and weighty part of the world's economy. One feels increasingly the height of the faculty in which it arises, the nobility of things associated with it, and the greatness of services it renders. - Oscar Firkins: Memoirs and Letters.
Author: Oscar W. Firkins
Source: None
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Humor distorts nothing, and only false gods are laughed off their earthly pedestals. - Points of View.
Author: Agnes Repplier
Source: None
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I said that Sean Hannity took residence up Newt Gingrich's
butt from 94 to 98. I got that from British intelligence.
It turns out he only took up residence in 95.
Author: Al Franken
Source: None
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Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law.
Author: Dick Clark
Source: None
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When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him.
Author: Gloria Vanderbilt
Source: None
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If you don't learn to laugh at troubles, you won't have anything to laugh at when you grow old.
Author: Edward W. Howe
Source: None
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Miss Piggy to Johnny Carson
.. do you think I am Oscar material?
Johnny Carson: Oscar Mayer maybe
NBC Tonight Show writers
http://www.mad-cow.org.
Author: Tonight Show Carson Writers
Source: None
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WARNING: Humor may be hazardous to your illness.
Author: Ellie Katz
Source: None
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He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.
Author: Anthony Burgess
Source: None
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In the end, everything is a gag.
Author: Terry Cohen
Source: None
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With the fearful strain that is on me night and day, if I did not laugh I should die.
Author: W. Somerset Maugham
Source: None
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He who laughs, lasts.
Author: John Powell
Source: None
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That is the best -- to laugh with someone because you think the same things are funny.
Author: Horace Walpole
Source: None
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Nobody ever died of laughter.
Author: Max Beerbohm
Source: None
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Learn to laugh at your troubles and you'll never run out of things to laugh at.
Author: Walt Kelly
Source: None
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I am no longer a curmudgeon.
I am a curmudgeon emeritus.
Author: James Gibbons
Source: None
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Humor is an affirmation of dignity, a declaration of man's superiority to all that befalls him.
Author: Roman Gary
Source: None
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Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
Author: Clive James
Source: None
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Humor is perhaps a sense of intellectual perspective: an awareness that some things are really important, others not; and that the two kinds are most oddly jumbled in everyday affairs. - Inward Ho.
Author: Christopher Morley
Source: None
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The seal went into the restaurant and was asked
by the waiter if he would like a Canadian Club
on the rocks.
He replied
no thank you.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
Author: Mary Pettibone Poole
Source: None
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My mother was awarded the Serbian medal of freedom
for raising 3 dysfunctional Croatian sons.
Author: Fd
Source: None
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If you want anything done well, do it yourself. This is why most people laugh at their own jokes.
Author: Helen Giangregorio
Source: None
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Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
Author: Lyn Karol
Source: None
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A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
Author: Fredrich
Source: None
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I've always been very zealous about not invading other people's private spaces.
Author: Peter Jennings
Source: None
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The British tourist was asked
what he thought of the
Grand Canyon.. and wrote
back
'gorge-ous'.
Author: Unknown
Source: None
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The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.
Author: Horace Walpole
Source: None
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The gods too are fond of a joke.
Author: Bertolt Brecht
Source: None
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The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
Author: Bob Edwards
Source: None
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Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Author: Edward De Bono
Source: None
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My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four unless there are three other people.
Author: Orson Welles
Source: None
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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
Author: Victor Borge
Source: None
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Men show their character in nothing more clearly than by what they find laughable.
Author: Anonymous
Source: None
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The most wasted day of all is that in which we have not laughed.
Author: Charlie Chaplin
Source: None
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If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.
Author: Mahatma Gandhi
Source: None
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